List of No-No’s for Relating to Your Wife…

Posted: February 22, 2011 in Ministry

Following the previous post, here are some good pointers (again, from FamilyLife Ministries) from women on how we men ought to relate to them…

Not a fun list to read…but if you see yourself, it may be worth making an adjustment or two…

List of No-No’s for Relating to Your Wife

The following comments were given by women when they were asked, “What ‘no-no’s’ do you have for a man about relating to his wife?”

1.  Don’t be passive or lazy.

2.  Don’t be condescending.

3.  Don’t procrastinate.

4.  Never say, “Have you taken your medicine?”

5.  Don’t let your mother cause conflict; leave and cleave.

6.  Don’t assume your wife knows you love her; tell her.

7.  Don’t get too busy with your job to have time for your family.

8.  Don’t get too busy for sharing with your wife.

9.  Don’t let home repairs get behind.

10.  Never embarrass her in public.

11.  Never think that it’s not your job to help with chores or the kids.

12.  Don’t come home from work and think your job is done.

13.  Don’t let your co-workers or business-related things take priority during times together with her.

14.  Don’t assume you know what your wife is thinking or how she does something.

15.  Don’t bring up past faults.

16.  Never spend more time with the TV than with your wife.

17.  Never tell your wife she looks fat.

18.  Never put her down.

19.  Don’t tell your wife to stop nagging. Nagging was a term created by a man to accuse his wife when she has to ask him to do something he promised to do six months ago.

20.  Don’t treat your wife as though her opinion doesn’t matter.

21.  Never forget to praise something about her often.

22.  Don’t make the expectation of sexual intimacy the only time you do something special for her.

23.  Don’t forget to pray for the desires of her heart.

24.  Don’t expect her to do all the care for the children.

25.  Never stop being affectionate to your wife.

26.  Don’t patronize her.

27.  Don’t speak harshly to her.

28.  Don’t assume she is not daily working on herself and changing for the better.

29.  Don’t act as though you are too good to do household chores.

30.  Be quick to forgive and forget.

31.  Never belittle or make her feel less than what God created her to be.

32.  Never stop cheering for her.

33.  Never forget to romance her before sex.

34.  Never forget to offer help around the house.

35.  Never forget to touch her “just because.”

36.  Never forget to pray for her and lift her before the Lord.

37.  When you wife is sharing a problem, don’t tell her how she should solve it before she’s even finished sharing.

38.  Don’t neglect taking pride in how the home looks physically.

39.  Don’t forget to plan for creative date nights.

40.  Don’t forget to compliment her appearance.

41.  Don’t forget to notice her care of husband and family.

42.  Don’t stop listening, even if she goes on and on.

43.  Don’t tell her how to feel or not feel. For example, “You shouldn’t be afraid/worried about that.”

44.  Look at your wife when you are talking together.  Eye contact is important to women. Otherwise she may feel like she’s intruding/interrupting/being ignored/bothersome—even if that is not the case.

45.  Don’t interrupt while she is talking.

46.  When your wife is trying to respond to your love language by providing physical touch (in non-sexual ways), don’t try to turn it into a sexual experience.

47.  When your wife is sharing with you why she’s upset, don’t tell her how she should be feeling because that is how you would feel in that situation.

48.  If your wife is trying to share a hurt that you are responsible for, don’t dismiss it.  Really listen and be sensitive to her feelings and be willing to apologize.

49.  Don’t walk in front of her through a door or when you are walking. You will make her feel insignificantunworthy of respect.

50.  Don’t shift blame to your wife. If you made a mistake, be a man and admit it.

51.  When you are in a group setting, don’t wander around talking to everybody else except her. Take her hand or arm tenderly and meet and greet together.

52.  Don’t tell your wife you want her to share what’s on her mind and when she starts telling you, before she can finish, you start in about all of your issues.

53.  Don’t let her come home to a dirty house.

54.  Please, no crumbs in the butter or peanut butter.

55.  When your wife may have been hurt by something you said, did, or didn’t do, don’t assume she will overlook it without hearing you sincerely apologize.

56.  When your wife is sharing how hard her day was, don’t share how hard yours was like you’re trying to prove whose is worse. Just listen.

57.  Don’t discount your wife’s feelings by chalking them up to hormones.

58.  Never stop the romance.

59.  Don’t look at other women … it makes her feel like she isn’t enough to keep your attention.

60.  If you want to have an active sex life, don’t stop the romance or look at other women.

61.  Don’t spend more time on your hobby than you do spending time with your wife.

62.  Don’t assume your wife knows how much you need her.  She needs to hear it from your lips as much as humanly possible. For example:  “Honey, you are the love of my life.  But not only that, I need you like the very breath I breathe.”

63.  Don’t try to use logic to explain away her feelings.  For example, something makes her nervous and he says, “You have no reason to feel that way. XYZ is under control, calm down.”  Or she feels anxious, “You worry too much” or something hurts her feelings, “You’re too sensitive.”  It makes her feel dismissed, unheard, and unimportant.

64.  When you get home from work, don’t forget to hug, kiss, and say something encouraging to your wife before you ask about dinner or open your computer or sit down in front of the TV.

What could you add to this list?  Let me know below…

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